Apologies for the long sabbatical. No lame excuses; I’ll just tell you where I’m at and you can do the rest.
I’ve moved away from Asheville. That’s the biggest news, I imagine. I left a lot behind, and I’m realizing that I shouldn’t (and don’t) miss much of it. To preserve who I am, I’ve had to leave a lot of folks behind I feel, and I’ve certainly lost many more friends then I have gained. There has been a lot of quiet pain had to/decided to deal with, and in many ways that’s all I can see in front of me; more life of just scraping by, and coping with old scars and maybe being too afraid to get new ones. School seems like a distant prospect, but I’m working slowly (the new SAT will make my October 8 probably very depressing.) Applying to college is a lot of work, and I feel it is such a long shot for me that I’m almost doing it a little to keep my mind busy and a little just to say I tried. I feel myself becoming bitter again, and that usually does not forbode good things either. There’s no future without winning lottery numbers or an education in this world, and I do not come from old money (or any money.) Without those things, even being a white male in the most successful capitalist nation ever to exist cannot save me from overt and enduring mediocrity. Youth is the only antidote for entropy, and I feel that even that is slipping from my grasp…
However, some light hearted moments still occur. For instance, in my new place there is an old organ, one that Shane’s family bought from a funeral home. It’s a Kimball “Swinger 300,” with the nameplate Scotch taped to the front. The thing is so damned corny, the sound it produces is so un-funereal, but I love it. I’ve been learning how to play some things on it, and I’m going to try and learn a couple of lounge tunes which Dan will be able to sing at parties. I know he has some terrible suits, and I think this has some serious potential. What will we be called, though? Wit fails me; suggestions are welcome.
Tonight was odd in one other respect; I talked politics with someone who claims his name is Howard Hughes III, and that he is the son of THE Howard Hughes (who was actually Howard Hughes, Jr.) He quoted (correctly!) Hesiod’s Theogony, Herodotus’ History of the Persian Wars, and Aristotle’s Economicus. He rides a bicycle, but only under cloud cover. He works at the Royalty Foods convenience store. I hope I run into him again.
A party is in the works, which many of you know about. It’s very preliminary right now, I’m not even sure of the date yet, but I’ve been trying to build buzz. I’m hoping it will be an all-weekend kind of thing, there should be a keg, etc… lots of outdoor activities, maybe camping or paintball or whatever. Certainly a bonfire. If you read this, you’re probably invited, so please offer any suggestions. Forty-five acres can be a lot of fun…